A Complete Guide to Traditional Groom Responsibilities
In order to build a solid foundation for your marriage, treat your engagement as a practice round for lifelong partnership, and make everything involving your wedding a joint effort. Although the process will ultimately be a collaboration, there are certain tasks that traditionally fall to the groom. We spoke with industry experts Katy Eriks and Jerod Walburn to dive deeper into these groom duties.
During Wedding Planning
Congrats! You’re engaged. No matter your level of interest in wedding planning, these early stages are when you should be the most involved. The most important aspects of the wedding should be joint decisions that accommodate both of your needs and desires. The four major things you’ll want to settle together are:
- Budget: How much do you have to spend, and where are the funds coming from?
- Guest List: Who are your must-haves on both sides, and who makes second-tier? Knowing your starting number determines your venue, which determines so many other aspects of your wedding, so it’s crucial to start a solid figure in mind.
- Venue: Your venue impacts so many other aspects of your wedding (your date, maximum guest count, catering, ambiance, etc.) so it’s crucial to pick the one you both like.
- Overall Vibes: Out in the country, or smack dab in the city? Casual and relaxed, or formal and fancy? Selecting a wedding style that reflects aspects of both of your personalities will ensure you’ll both be excited to plan it.
From there, have an honest conversation about what details matter most to each of you. If you won’t be working with a wedding planner, divide and conquer along those lines. Tradition typically has the groom take point on the bar and the music, but you are by no means confined to those categories. More spiritual than your significant other? Take charge of finding your officiant. Really into food? Offer to schedule tastings with caterers.
When it comes to who pays for what, the bride’s family has traditionally covered the wedding, while the groom’s family has covered the rehearsal dinner. However, anything goes in modern times. As couples marry later, they may opt to take on a bulk of the costs themselves, or they may receive contributions from their parents that can be spent however they choose: on the wedding, or, perhaps, on the down payment on a house. Regardless of if you’re a bride or groom, it’s your job to handle communications regarding any contributions received from your side of the family.
It is always a groom’s responsibility to work with his groomsmen. The first step, of course, is selecting them. “Pick people you’re still in close contact with,” says Eriks. “If you haven’t seen each other in a while, there’s no rule they have to be in your wedding just because you were in theirs.” Your final group should also include people you’ll be close with in the future, like your spouse’s siblings.
No matter who you ask, you’ll want to do the asking thoughtfully. “This is a big commitment,” says Eriks. “And there are costs involved. Do something nice to kick things off.” A card and bottle of whiskey are great, but, at the bare minimum, a phone call will do. When you ask is also important, especially if they’re going to need to travel, adds Walburn. “Asking six to eight months before your wedding is the sweet spot.”
The Morning of the Wedding
Finally, the big day has arrived! If you’re planning a morning-of activity like golf or brunch, it’s a nice gesture to include your spouse’s father or close family members. The groom can also use this time to pass out tips to vendors. Your biggest responsibility that morning, though, is making sure your guys are ready on time.
If you’ll be doling out groomsmen gifts, that can be done the morning of or the night before—whichever makes it easiest for them to get the gifts back to their rooms. “Gifts don’t need to be expensive, but they do need to be thoughtful,” says Walburn. “Think of your relationship and the moments that have really made it unique. If you and your best man grew up watching Boy Meets World every afternoon, find an autographed headshot of Ben Savage.”
The morning of your wedding is also the time to send over a thoughtful card and a gift for your partner. Jewelry is always a great choice, and another classic idea is something for your home, like a vase or a framed picture from your proposal or engagement session.
The Wedding Night
The vows have been said—now it’s time to play host! Your only responsibility for the rest of the night is to let your guests know how grateful you are they’ve come to celebrate. That’s traditionally handled in two ways:
- Going from table-to-table during dinner to personally greet attendees.
- Giving a short toast at the end of the speeches. Thank guests for coming, and also those who contributed to the wedding—especially your spouse.
If you’d rather spend dinner actually, you know, eating, and the thought of public speaking fills you with dread, Eriks has a solution: “Split up with your partner, and try to say hello to as many people as possible during cocktail hour.”
Don’t forget your role on the dance floor! The mother-son dance will be when you take center stage but make sure to dance with the bridesmaids, maid or matron of honor, and your new mother-in-law, too.
After the Wedding
Though some traditionalists might say it’s the groom’s responsibility to handle the honeymoon, that’s definitely no longer the case. Tackle the trip like you tackled wedding planning: decide the big things (destination, budget, time of year) together, then divide the rest of the to-dos according to what you’re each passionate about. If your partner handled most of the wedding planning, it’s a nice gesture to coordinate the travel.
Writing thank-you notes is yet another part of the wedding process you’ll divide and conquer. “Split them between your guest list—you do your half, your spouse can do theirs—and work on them together at the coffee table over a bottle of wine,” suggests Eriks. Plan something fun for when you finish (hello, date night!) to keep you motivated and to help ward off post-wedding blues. “There can be a letdown after the big day is done, so it’s nice to have something to shift your focus to,” says Walburn.
Hello there! Would you mind if I share your blog with
my facebook group? There’s a lot of folks that I think would really appreciate your content.
Please let me know. Many thanks
I was wondering if you ever considered changing the structure of your website?
Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect
with it better. Youve got an awful lot of
text for only having one or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space
it out better?
My partner and I stumbled over here coming from a different web page and thought I should check things out.
I like what I see so i am just following you.
Look forward to going over your web page yet again.
For newest news you have to visit internet and on the web I found this site as
a finest site for newest updates.
Hello my loved one! I want to say that this article is
amazing, great written and come with approximately all vital infos.
I would like to see extra posts like this .
I read this post completely concerning the comparison of hottest and earlier technologies,
it’s awesome article.
Hey! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog.
Is it very difficult to set up your own blog?
I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast.
I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do
you have any ideas or suggestions? Many thanks
These are in fact wonderful ideas in concerning blogging.
You have touched some nice factors here. Any way keep up wrinting.
Valuable info. Lucky me I found your site unintentionally, and I’m shocked why this accident did
not took place earlier! I bookmarked it.
Nice blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from
somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple tweeks
would really make my blog shine. Please let me know where you got your
theme. Thank you
I do believe all of the ideas you have offered
to your post. They are very convincing and can definitely work.
Still, the posts are too quick for novices. May just you please prolong them a little from
subsequent time? Thanks for the post.
Hurrah! At last I got a blog from where I can actually get valuable information regarding my study and
knowledge.
I’ve been browsing on-line greater than 3 hours nowadays, but I by
no means discovered any fascinating article like yours.
It’s beautiful worth sufficient for me. In my view,
if all website owners and bloggers made just right content material
as you did, the web will probably be much more useful than ever before.
I’m extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout in your blog.
Is this a paid subject or did you customize it yourself?
Anyway stay up the nice high quality writing, it’s uncommon to look a
great weblog like this one today..
Your method of explaining all in this article is in fact fastidious, all be capable of without difficulty understand it, Thanks a lot.
Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a
lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message
home a bit, but other than that, this is magnificent blog.
A great read. I will certainly be back.
Appreciating the commitment you put into your site and detailed information you present.
It’s nice to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed information. Great read!
I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds
to my Google account.
Keep this going please, great job!
I’m really enjoying the theme/design of your weblog.
Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility problems?
A couple of my blog visitors have complained about my site not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome.
Do you have any suggestions to help fix this issue?
Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Many thanks,
However I am having difficulties with your RSS. I don’t understand why
I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting identical RSS issues?
Anyone who knows the solution can you kindly respond?
Thanks!!
Hello would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re utilizing?
I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different internet browsers and I must say this blog loads
a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good web hosting
provider at a honest price? Thanks a lot, I appreciate it!
Great items from you, man. I’ve have in mind
your stuff previous to and you’re simply too magnificent.
I really like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which by which you say it.
You are making it entertaining and you continue to take care of
to keep it smart. I can not wait to learn much more from you.
That is really a tremendous web site.
It’s very straightforward to find out any topic on net as compared to textbooks,
as I found this post at this web page.
Hey there! I could have sworn I’ve been to
this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new
to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and
checking back often!
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and also the rest of the site is also
really good.
I love reading through an article that will make people think.
Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!
Hi it’s me, I am also visiting this site on a regular basis, this web page is
in fact nice and the viewers are in fact sharing pleasant thoughts.
Hello colleagues, how is the whole thing, and what you would like to say on the
topic of this piece of writing, in my view its truly awesome
in support of me.
It’s remarkable to visit this web site and reading the views of
all mates about this piece of writing, while I am also keen of getting
knowledge.
We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community.
Your web site provided us with valuable info to work on. You have done an impressive job and our whole community will be thankful to you.
Thank you very much for sharing, I learned a lot from your article. Very cool. Thanks. nimabi
You need to be a part of a contest for one of the finest blogs on the web.
I will recommend this site!
Excellent blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers?
I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
Would you recommend starting with a free platform
like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are
so many choices out there that I’m totally overwhelmed
.. Any suggestions? Many thanks!
It’s great that you are getting thoughts from
this post as well as from our discussion made at this place.
Hello, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
When I look at your blog in Opera, it looks fine but when opening in Internet
Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up!
Other then that, wonderful blog!
Hi, I do believe this is an excellent web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I may come
back yet again since I book marked it. Money and
freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide other people.
Hello, i think that i saw you visited my web site so i
came to go back the choose?.I am trying to to find things to enhance
my web site!I guess its adequate to use some of your ideas!!
Great article.
Superb, what a blog it is! This website provides useful data to us, keep it up.
That is a good tip especially to those new to the blogosphere.
Simple but very precise info… Many thanks for sharing this one.
A must read post!
You have made some really good points there.
I checked on the internet for more info about the issue and found most
individuals will go along with your views on this site.
Appreciating the commitment you put into your site and in depth information you present.
It’s great to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t
the same unwanted rehashed material. Fantastic read!
I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.
After I originally left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment is added I receive 4 emails
with the exact same comment. Is there a means you are able to remove me from that service?
Cheers!
Heya i’m for the first time here. I found this board
and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much.
I hope to give something back and help others like you aided
me.
Hello there! I simply want to offer you a huge thumbs up for your great information you have right here
on this post. I am returning to your web site for more soon.
Great blog here! Also your web site loads up fast!
What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate
link to your host? I wish my website loaded up as
fast as yours lol
You can certainly see your enthusiasm within the article you write.
The sector hopes for more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe.
At all times follow your heart.
Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thank you so
much, However I am encountering issues with your RSS.
I don’t know the reason why I am unable to join it. Is there anyone else getting similar RSS issues?
Anybody who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanks!!
You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something which I think
I would never understand. It seems too complicated and
extremely broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post,
I will try to get the hang of it!
Excellent goods from you, man. I’ve be aware your stuff prior to and
you’re just extremely excellent. I really like what you
have got right here, certainly like what you are stating and the way during which you say
it. You are making it entertaining and you still take care
of to keep it sensible. I cant wait to read much more from
you. That is actually a tremendous website.