18 Things to Do After Getting Engaged
Here’s how to kick-start the wedding planning process.
This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. Holy moly, you have an engagement ring, and you’re getting married! It’s so surreal, yet definitely happening. Like it or not, the hours, days, and weeks following that proposal are guaranteed to be a whirlwind.
There are so many things to think about, so many people to contact, and so much to get done. Don’t be overwhelmed. You have plenty of time to plan the rest of your lives, but if you’re like most newly engaged people, you’ll be itching to share the news with all your friends and dive into the actual wedding planning part headfirst.
Pinterest boards, bridal magazines, blogs, dress shopping, venue hunting…the list goes on and on. Years of watching wedding movies couldn’t have prepared you for what’s to come (trust us, it’s totally different). While the average engagement lasts a year to a year and a half, there are certain things you’ll want to get done stat—no matter how long you plan on being a fiancé.
So where do you get started? There’s no strict order to follow as long as you tackle the immediate to-dos. Committing the rest of your life to the love of your life is scary and amazing and the best kind of stress. However, it’s a major milestone, and planning a wedding together is the icing on the cake—we promise.
1. Call Your Parents
And your siblings and BFFs, too (unless you are keeping your engagement under wraps for a while). The last place they should have to hear about your new status is on social media, so give them a ring personally and tell them the happy news. Your parents may even already know what’s up and have been waiting by the phone patiently for your call.
2. Get a Manicure
Your hands will be in the spotlight for the next couple of weeks, which means your manicure best be on fleek. Or, if you’re going for the natural look, make sure your nails are clean and shaped. Otherwise, friends will be focusing more on your chipped nail polish than your gorgeous engagement ring. Not cool.
3. Post a Ring Selfie
A picture is worth a thousand words, right? If you’re ready to share with the world that you’re engaged, open up that Instagram. Take a ring selfie or a sweet pic of you and your fiancé to share the love. Even better—if the actual proposal was caught on film, nothing is better than that look of surprise. And don’t forget to make it Facebook official.
4. Cheers!
Round up some of your best friends and family to go out for a celebratory drink, or have a special date night solo if that’s more your style. You’re engaged, and that’s totally worth toasting.
5. Get Your Ring Insured
We know, we know—it’s not exactly the most romantic or exciting thing in the world, but it could wind up saving your butt in the long run. When added as an extension to your homeowner’s or renter’s insurance policy, it’s surprisingly inexpensive.
6. Take a Breather
Don’t jump into wedding planning right away. Take a week or two to let the news really sink in and to just savor the moment. Trust us, you’ll have enough stress over the next 12 (or so) months to last you a lifetime.
7. Get Your Ring Sized
If the ring fits great; and if not, you’ll want to take it to your jeweler stat to get it sized—especially if it’s practically falling off your finger. After all, you’d hate to throw thousands of dollars down the drain mere moments after saying yes.
8. Think About a Date
The most desirable wedding dates and venues get booked far in advance, so if you’re hoping to get hitched in the next year or two, it’s a wise idea to start thinking about dates now. Find out what works for both your families and if there are any potential conflicts.
9. Research Wedding Venues
Remember: You can’t book a date until you’ve nailed down your dream venue! Do some research online first, or maybe you already have a place in mind and can call to get more information on pricing and availability.
10. Determine Your Wedding Size
Whether you’re going big or keeping it small, being on the same page about this one is so important. Get your family’s input if it matters to either of you or if they’ll be footing the bill. Once you’ve agreed on a rough guest count and budget (we’ll get to that next), you can commit to a venue.
11. Discuss a Budget
Money talks, but unfortunately, no one likes to talk about money. It can be, well, awkward. However, before you can really move forward with any of your wedding plans, this is a discussion that has to be had, be it between you and your spouse, or you, your spouse, and the parents.
12. Build a Wedding Website
At the very least, look at your options and decide whether you’d prefer to create your own from scratch or use one of the many wedding website templates out there. Check out the pros and cons, and then pick together.
13. Gather Inspiration
Create a Pinterest board, Google Doc, save photos on Instagram, or create a folder on your computer to compile imagery of your favorite wedding elements. Keep it to yourself just for organizational purposes, or share it with your wedding planner, mom, friends, fiancé, and whoever else to view and contribute.
14. Choose Who Will Be in the Bridal Party
How many bridesmaids or groomsmen does each of you want? Are you cool with having odd numbers, or is an even number a must? Does one of you (or both) want a bridesman or groomslady? Will you have a maid of honor or best man? No matter what, you need to discuss these things before one of you starts popping the question to friends.
15. Interview Planners and/or Vendors
If you’re considering bringing a professional planner on board to help with logistics and décor, ask around for references and do a little online research. Then set up some interviews. For vendor referrals alone, a wedding planner is totally worth their weight in gold.
For smaller affairs, go directly to the source and check out a few vendors on your own.
16. Check Out Trunk Show Schedules
Have your eyes on a specific wedding dress designer? You don’t have to make a mad dash to try on dresses just yet; however, you may want to peek at their trunk show schedule to see when they’ll be in town (or where you’d have to travel to) and how much of a discount you can score on the new collection.
17. Plan an Engagement Party
You don’t have to have an engagement party, but if you do, there are a few considerations: Do you want to plan it or hand the reins over to parents or friends? Do you want to go low-key and have it at your home or in a friend’s backyard? Would you rather everyone meet at your favorite bar for drinks or rent a space for a catered dinner? Either way, just make sure to do whatever fits the vibe of your relationship.
18. Relax
Do something fun, just the two of you. Mini golf, bowling, ice skating, a trip to the beach—whatever floats your boat and brings out the kid in you both. Wedding planning can be insanely stressful from the get-go, so try to find the humor in things and take some time to laugh, reconnect, and remember why you’re getting hitched in the first place.
Credit: Brides.com
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Thanks for pointing me in the right direction! Your message saved me hours of confusion and research.
I didn’t know where to start, but thanks to the replies here, I’ve got a clear direction now. Can’t thank you enough.
Just wanted to give a big shoutout to the folks who replied here. You’ve really helped me wrap my head around this.
Appreciate the patience and guidance shown here. It’s rare to find such a respectful and helpful space online these days.
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